Enciclopedia Xenobiológica

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Species: Trankin (aka “Fekk Dragons”)

Homeworld: Tin (But frequently captured and transported, at great expense, by Setts to the Six Moons of Slaughter.)

Size: 10m height, 50,000 kg weight.

Color & Markings: Vast, scaly, armored beasts, Trankins are best known for their size and destructive power. Mottled gray in color and slow-moving in physique, Trankins are not particularly good hunters, but their sheer size makes up for any lack of technique or cunning. It is virtually impossible to stop a riled-up Trankin without heavy weaponry or large quantities of anesthetics: Their stupidity allows them to take an incredible amount of physical damage before they’ll willingly end a fight.

Reproduction & Development: Trankins are solitary animals both by nature and by dietary need (i.e., they consume most of the caloric production of the area they inhabit). They once roamed the continent-wide forests of Tin as the unquestioned alpha-predator. The breeding act is rare, as male and female Trankins copulate only if they cross paths at a specific point in their hibernation cycles. One offspring results, after a 22-month gestation period.

When the Grasskan Empire discovered the mineralogical resources on Tin, and began one of the galaxy’s largest strip-mining operations, the unending seas of forest were reduced to only a few hundred thousand square miles. The Trankin population was reduced in kind. It’s assumed only a few thousand still exist in the wild.

Diet: Voracious omnivore for 24 months, followed by 6 months of hibernation.

Lifespan: 30-40 years.

Language: While Trankins do have the ability to mime and sometimes independently use 15-30 monosyllabic words, they are profoundly stupid creatures. If taught the word “food,” for example, they will absent-mindedly mumble “food” for the rest of their adult life.

Social Structure: No social structure of note.

Intelligence Rating: Bravo/Charlie. But there is dispute in neurobiological circles as to whether Trankins should even be classified that high on the Chatterjee Scale. (Excitedly for xenobiologists, though, Trankins feature that most famous of dinosaur myths, a “sacral brain”; a secondary brain located above the hip-bone. Unfortunately for Trankins, that brain is exceedingly stupid, as well.)

Interaction with Humans: The brutal use of Trankins on the captured human cruiser Triunfo was widely reported in the Empire, thanks to a seemingly endless stream of execution videos the Setts transmitted to Madrid. The most famous of these videos became a viral hit on Slaughter, featuring the 2-hour “battle” between Vice Admiral Colin O’Reilly and an aging Trankin. In it, the highly educated, highly decorated O’Reilly is clearly seen to lose his mind when faced with the 5O,000kg beast, and proceeds to run around the ring of the coliseum in endless loops, shouting “Fekk! Dragon! Fekk! Dragon!”

Among the sadism of Slaughter, this was made all the funnier when the pursuing Trankin learned and repeated the phrase.